(scroll down for updates)
Read the previous post before reading this one.
This morning I met our representative in Hurghada. "Have you seen the fruit basket and bottle of wine I put for you in your room?" he said.
I wanted to bang my head against something. Yesterday I was drooling over this bottle. But still the problem remains: with whom shall I share this juicy bottle of wine?
Here are the options I have at hand. If I went out and arranged with an Egyptian girl, the hotel will report us both to the police and we'll get arrested for "indecent acts". In Egypt, the reception has to see the marriage certificate of the Egyptian couple before they can get a double room.
If I hooked up with a foreigner, I will get arrested and she'll walk as freely as she entered the hotel gate.
If I was a holder of a foreign passport and I walked up to the reception desk with 10 Ukrainian prostitutes all wearing G strings, the reception guy will roll out the red carpet for me. Why? Because we're all foreigners and in Egypt foreigners or holders of foreign passports have the freedom to sin while we Egyptians don't.
Update: I just arrived. There is quite a discussion going on over this post. Well let me clear, I would never go search for a girl to spend the night with. I've never done and I'll never do it. I just don't believe in this stuff. I simply don't like to do it. I won't be feeling very comfortable if I've done such a thing. The whole point of this post is to show you how our government treats us the locals, the Egyptians, the natives of this land. It treats us like children so it would appease the religious fanatics and show them how "holy" it is by forbidding Egyptians from doing "sin" such as drinking during Ramadan or staying in a double room with your girlfriend.
Why can't there be a freedom called the freedom to sin, the kind of freedom God gave to Adam and Eve.
I guess your hotel room is not an option. I guess you have to find some discreet place. Maybe out in the desert.
There is no way you could sneak somebody in at 3:00 am or something when nobody is looking and have her sneak out in the morning when nobody is looking as well?
I am sure you are not the first in this predicament and you will not be the last. I am sure they found a way.
Worst case scenario looks like you will be getting drunk all by yourself.
I got it. You sneak in a foreign girl on your last night. Have her to agree to leave like an hour after you have already checked out the morning and left. In this way you only have to get her in the room without getting caught. You don’t have to worry about her being seen leaving from your room because you will be long gone.
Comment by ayman — November 17, 2006 @ 5:53 pm
Oh please, stop whining about your countries antiquated ways. WE GET IT, EGYPT IS BACKWARDS OR REALLY IS IT. Is the ability to pick up some random stranger, take her to a hotel and get her drunk, fun as it may be, a sign of advancement? I say not.
Your true problem is the fact that you are grown man that still lives with your parents. If like most men your age in the West, you had your own place, this wouldnt be an issue, would it?
Comment by CHELLEBELLE_MN — November 17, 2006 @ 6:15 pm
How about a foreign marriage certificate? Maybe you got married in, say, Ladonia?
http://www.ladonia.net/
Comment by Uffe — November 17, 2006 @ 6:22 pm
Ahhhh how I love my American passport. Let me count the ways!
Comment by D.B Shobrawy — November 17, 2006 @ 6:52 pm
How about bribing the hotel staff?
Comment by Madness — November 17, 2006 @ 8:14 pm
Find a girl. Find a foreigner staying at the hotel. Get the foreigner to bring in the girl for you.
Comment by prairie biker — November 17, 2006 @ 9:02 pm
Damn dudes this is a very interesting study in hypocrisy. The westerners among you yell and scream about the subjugation of women in the Muslims world and here you are reducing women to playthings or things to be used to marry so that you can get a passport to use other women. SHAME SHAME SHAME, yeah, yeah, yeah you can say you are joking…shit is not funny.
We were not put on the earth to be locked up but nor were we put here to amuse BP when he wants some companionship when he gets drunk.
Comment by chellebelle_mn — November 17, 2006 @ 9:15 pm
OH yeah, BP, I know you men get all frisky when you are drunk but I assure you men arent doing nearly as much as you think you are when you are intoxicated. Stop being so gross dude.
Comment by chellebelle_mn — November 17, 2006 @ 9:45 pm
I don’t think BP was being 100% serious here, he was trying to make a point
Your true problem is the fact that you are grown man that still lives with your parents. If like most men your age in the West, you had your own place, this wouldnt be an issue, would it?
In the Middle East (and in a lot of mediterranean countries) it’s fairly common for grown men to live at home until they get married.
Comment by Dirk — November 17, 2006 @ 10:09 pm
Jeez Chellebelle, get the sand out of your vagina.
Comment by RocketRay — November 17, 2006 @ 10:45 pm
chellebelle,
You are assuming that a women going with BP to his hotel room is going against her will. Maybe SHE wants to use BP as HER plaything. Stop painting all women as victims.
Comment by Liz — November 17, 2006 @ 11:28 pm
If that foreigner gets caught with a bible in his hotel room in Saudi Arabia he’ll be arrested and tortured. Sex without a marriage certificate carries the death penalty.
If I were an Arab living in the Middle East,I think I’d prefer Israel or Dubai. Lebanon doesn’t sound bad for Christians,but…
Comment by Maury — November 17, 2006 @ 11:38 pm
oh please guys…you are being disgusting. As I said, maybe he was trying to be funny, but its not. And who is painting women as victims. Yeah perhaps a woman would satisfy his drunken needs willingly, but I still think its kind dirty.
I am not babe in the woods, I live in the USA…but when freedom for women gets down to being mens playthings…well thats not really that much freedom for me as a woman.
Comment by chellebelle_mn — November 18, 2006 @ 12:01 am
BP, either drink it in your room with a coworker or take it home. Good muslim boys, like good muslim girls, should save their goodies for their spouses.
#9 Dirk
I get BP’s point and I hope he isn’t seriously contemplating such a thing. And if he does such a thing, may he catch a nasty STD. Women are not objects and unfortunately in that part of the world, many are brought in via the sex slave trade.
#10 Hey Beavis, quit playing with your rocket and take out the trash like your momma asked you.
Comment by anon — November 18, 2006 @ 12:19 am
I recommend the 10 Ukranian girls in G-strings, but you’ll need more wine.
Comment by Chip — November 18, 2006 @ 1:20 am
I have to agree with Chellebelle. I was grossed out by this post. Too much of a horny guy whine.
Comment by Julie — November 18, 2006 @ 2:27 am
chebelle, I’m an original bra-burner, an original member of the NOW from way back in the ’60s.
And I think you’re being a prude.
Chill out, girl!
Comment by mamapajamas — November 18, 2006 @ 2:32 am
#17
…”chebelle, I’m an original bra-burner, an original member of the NOW from way back in the ’60s.”…
Not sure that is something to brag about. NOW has done a tremendous disservice to women and the family structure. Free love, hairy armpits, women are the same as men except for those special minority privileges, when not aborting -placing the one designer child in the care of someone else, and STDs galore. The oppressive family structure collapses? No worries, big government will step in and become daddy. Children become neurotic from lack of a strong family support system? No worries, we can medicate. Ahh..the stench of liberal utopia.
…”And I think you’re being a prude.”….
You would. I think you should travel to the ME and show them your NOW buttons. Maybe you can give talks to the women stuck in the sex trade about how to tell their ‘owner’s’ to piss off.
Get a clue grandma.
Comment by ElizabethStanton — November 18, 2006 @ 3:04 am
Aren’t you married, BP?
I would know the Middle East has changed if my daughter or wife managed to take Cairo’s notorious big red packed bus wearing a mini skirt. My mother did it 40 years ago.
Or is this a theoretical wife and daughter?
Comment by Alcibiades — November 18, 2006 @ 3:55 am
ROTFL
“If I was a holder of a foreign passport and I walked up to the reception desk with 10 Ukrainian prostitutes all wearing G strings, the reception guy will roll out the red carpet for me. Why? Because we’re all foreigners and in Egypt foreigners or holders of foreign passports have the freedom to sin while we Egyptians don’t.”
ROTFLMAO :)))))))
Comment by Apollo — November 18, 2006 @ 4:00 am
What colour carpet would they roll out if you were to have an Israeli passport?
Comment by shlemazl — November 18, 2006 @ 4:30 am
chellebelle_nm
Get real.
Perhaps the girl just wants to drink some good wine, perhaps she also wants to have fun and perhaps Liz is right SHE wants to use BP as HER plathing.
I also think that you missed the most important part of that post, irregardless of BP having wine or not having a bottle of wine in his room he can not invite a girl to his room, even for a night- long conversation. Got it?
Comment by ella — November 18, 2006 @ 6:25 am
Chellebelle-nm
One more thing.
In Egypt BP can not invite girl to his hotel room. He might only want to drink a bottle of wine with a girl. But if she went to his room she would be thought of as a whore, whether she is or not, and whether they did “it” or not, and the overal assumption will be that they did “indecent acts”.
On the other hands foreigners can do everything without any penalty. The assumption is that they are corrupted anyway but they bring money so they are allowed.
Comment by ella — November 18, 2006 @ 6:59 am
What ella said in #22 & #23.
Perceptive girl
Comment by Anonymous — November 18, 2006 @ 7:23 am
On your next business trip, why don’t you come to Lebanon?
We don’t care about your passport or colour, as long as your money is green… In spite of their “divine victory”, Hezb has not yet won complete control of the country, you know.
Whatever you do, May you have never to drink your wine alone.
Comment by Jeha — November 18, 2006 @ 7:43 am
BP is the Sand Monkey there too? This smells fishy to me !
Comment by Paul — November 18, 2006 @ 10:10 am
You know, I think part of the idea is not that we all run around going to strange men’s (or women’s) hotel rooms but that IF we wanted to, we could.
I chose to say no. It’s personal responsibility.
What exactly does that say about your choices if you have no choices?
It’s not saying you are particularly modest or pious because it is being forced on you and enforced by the government.
So since you have no choices, it means nothing. It’s just fear.
Comment by t — November 18, 2006 @ 2:02 pm
btw BP,
Have fun.
A bottle of wine, some fruit and cheese (Danish perhaps?) and good friends have made for some interesting conversations and warm laughter.
Enjoy.
Comment by t — November 18, 2006 @ 2:10 pm
BP is clearly illustrating the lack of freedom and privacy there. It’s frustrating… please!
Of course, I’d go visit him in his hotel room (most of us would, I presume) and even though we wouldn’t have sex (hell, I don’t even drink either) and no Islamic laws would be flouted, he’d STILL be in trouble.
That sucks. Surely everyone agrees with that.
Comment by Jen — November 18, 2006 @ 3:43 pm
If you have FAX access, I can xerox my passport and send it to you. Of course, this will only work if you can impersonate a 400 pound redneck with a fu-manchu moustache…
Comment by Uchuck the Tuchuck — November 18, 2006 @ 4:24 pm
When I was in Gouna, unmarried Egyptians shared rooms without anything happening.
It was pretty easy to by-pass the reception
Comment by Charles Malik — November 18, 2006 @ 4:28 pm
A bottle of wine, some fruit and cheese (Danish perhaps?) and good friends have made for some interesting conversations and warm laughter.
Ah, the classics:
“A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou.”
Comment by RocketRay — November 18, 2006 @ 4:59 pm
BP, there is a message there if you choose to see it.
Comment by da 12th anon — November 18, 2006 @ 7:03 pm
When i was in Sharm El Sheikh, i had no problem bringing a “foreigner” to my room! Those hotel rules are just BS. As long as you don’t CHECK IN with the guest your fine!
Comment by Modern Pharaoh — November 18, 2006 @ 7:16 pm
Get a fake passport!
Comment by Drima — November 18, 2006 @ 8:18 pm
Hey, I’ve been thinking of going to Egypt, maybe you could hang with me. We’ll pick up some young lovelies and if anyone gives you trouble, I’ll just say “Ho there, I’m a relatively wealthy white American and you are bothering my Egyptian buddy. Have $200 and a look at my US passport.”
I’ve been wanting to try some Egyptian hashish, anyway.
Comment by Kurt — November 18, 2006 @ 8:36 pm
Elizabeth Stanton: “Not sure that is something to brag about. NOW has done a tremendous disservice to women and the family structure.”
I’m not a member any more, and haven’t been since around 1972, when NOW got away from equal pay for equal work and got into too many flakey side issues.
I agree that they’ve done a disservice, one of the worst being helping to establish a fashion of hitching ones efforts to a Cause du Jure. Every time I turned around back then, I was getting whiplash from having the ideals I though the NOW supported being upended.
I was merely pointing out to Chelle that I AM “enlightened” in the liberal sense (although I discovered that the NOW is far from “enlightened”)and that even one who has been in the trenches from Da Day, when the stuff she is stating was fashionable, thinks her attitude is prudish.
The crap she is spewing out here is from the early ’70s, and not worthy of a woman who doesn’t want to be thought of as prudish.
Comment by mamapajamas — November 18, 2006 @ 10:26 pm
Chellebelle, there is really no excuse for being rude.
Comment by Margot — November 19, 2006 @ 12:01 am
Margot:
How was I rude? Well BP explained his true intetions. I will not that most of the intial posts were giving him points on getting a gal to have sex with for one night..Good to know he is beyond that.
Sex is a wonderful sex, but in my experience, one night stands really arent and the pursuit of it is not really a good use of ones time. Clearly many of the men here disagree.
But what BP about the freedom to sin…its all good…not something I would do, or think is good to advocate as so many were.
Anywho..done with this subject
Comment by chellebelle_mn — November 19, 2006 @ 3:39 am
I once stayed at a hotel in Aqaba after a very long and arduous bus/ferry trip across Sinai. I shared a taxi from the ferry terminal to the hotel with a nice man I had met on the bus. We struck up a conversation on the bus and sat together for most of the trip because he spoke English. He was Syrian and living in New York and I am from New York. When we arrived at the hotel we were going to get our rooms and go our seperate ways. But the hotel staff thought we had other plans. They argued with this man for twenty minutes telling him they can’t rent us both a room for the night because we might try to sneak into each others rooms in the middle of the night.
Finally, he convinced them that we did not even know each other, but had just shared a taxi. But they would not even give us rooms on the same floor. They gave him one on the second floor, let him go up first; leaving me to lug my 70 pound suitcase up three flights of stairs by myself.
So I think the general point is: it sucks when strangers can’t mind their own business. I’m glad I don’t get treated like this at US hotels.
Comment by To Egypt, With Love — November 19, 2006 @ 7:11 am
BP,
I hope my words would not be misinterpreted either. When I said that “we don’t care about your passport or colour, as long as your money is green”, I meant for the hotel fare and the restaurant meals.
I wouldn’t date to propose a visit to Baalbeck, Byblos, or Tyre; your old stones are far more massive than ours. Still, we relish your patronage. After all, while we all proclaim that “in God we Trust”, all others must pay cash.
I noted the direction of replies, and I hope mine was not misinterpreted. It is just that Solidere’s business is not doing too well, what with the “National Dialogue” and the demos and all…
Comment by Jeha — November 19, 2006 @ 7:59 am
Man, this is brilliant - “freedom to sin”!
I’m going to introduce the notion to my wife next time she goes on about me smoking… thanks
Comment by The Raccoon — November 19, 2006 @ 11:53 am
If your government has to keep you from “the freedom to sin” BP then you are in real trouble !!
Comment by Paul — November 19, 2006 @ 12:17 pm
Hire an apartment and take any girl you like there,easy? Just stop complaining and you will get the loop-hole.
Take the girl in your car” don’t forget the bottle of wine ,take it “,then drive to a far distant place in the desert,eh you got it,make it on the backseat of the car,or,
Accept the copy of the American passport from the one who offered it here,in that case don’t forget to kiss the passport every minute ,esp. a passport from one of your American masters.or,
Go to a bathroom ,it’s your favorite place I guess,all of your similes and metaphores in the last posts are “inspired” from bathroom stuff “the arab street is like your toilet paper,an idiot like you is giving as advice to Robert Fisk and,please note,telling him that your ‘bathroom seat ‘ can’t be an American mistake”,go to your bathroom and masturbate,a short way to end your complaint.don’t forget to drink the bottle of wine before masturbation.
I hope there were no Ukrainians here , or they would surely got offended by the “ 10 ukrainian girls simile”,sounds like the Ukrainians export their girls for prostitution to the whole world,what a stupid way to think of women and to show disrespect to the others,only a cheap mind would think of women that way,who said slavery is over,in my opinion,prostitution is some sort of slavery,if we all agree that slavery is to own someone by money.
Respect the laws of your country, I believe if you went to the west and found a similar law in the hotels you would feel glad to adhere to the law, you would even justify it “see,how they prevent bunches of prostitutes from annoying the hotel residents in the hotel lobby !”
Or,one day when you see your wife sleeping with one of your friends in ur bed room,or your daughter having sex with her boyfriend and crying loudly in the room next to you and you didn’t mind “I know you are civilized” ,and if one of those got pregnant,don’t complain again because abortion is still forbidden in Egypt, would you blame the Americans because abortion is still forbidden in their country either? No,it’s immoral in the later case,do you have any definition of the ‘immorality”?
Comment by anonymous — November 19, 2006 @ 1:36 pm
Your satirical intent was perfectly clear to me and I though you made your point very well.
Comment by gail — November 19, 2006 @ 1:57 pm
Say, all this bathroom talk just reminded me. Today is
World Toilet Day. Happy Toilet Day, everyone!
Comment by Bec — November 19, 2006 @ 4:54 pm
http://www.worldtoilet.org/
Comment by Bec — November 19, 2006 @ 4:55 pm
BP -
I just caught your Update and I completely agree with the point you made.
Ella @22 & 23, t @27 and Jen @29 speak for me, too.
Comment by Bec — November 19, 2006 @ 5:54 pm
You know BP, until I started reading your blog, I thought I was the most sarcastic person in the world. But you have matched my wit. But I have always been misunderstood, too. I could never fathom why people don’t get sarcasm. The only conclusion I have come to is that they lack a sense of humor entirely. They don’t know what they are missing! I look forward to reading your blog everyday, not only because I might learn something, or because you are drawing attention to very important subjects, but because most days, I can really use a good laugh.
Comment by To Egypt, With Love — November 19, 2006 @ 6:21 pm
You gotta love #44
The expectation that freedom of choice in the area of sexual relations leads to wives who sleep with other people and daughters who sleep around and cry from shame or hurt or whatever. It makes it quite clear to me that people cannot be trusted to protect themselves or know what they want, and need the wisdom of the Imam and the regulations of a Sharia state to be able to control themselves. How can it not be obvious?
Otherwise there is nothing but degeneracy and moral decay, i mean it’s obvious that Muslim countries would never let their young men be so immoral as to rampage in the street and abuse women even though they are safely and wisely dressed modestly and behaving with decorum.
Countries in the western tradition managed to give people sexual freedom but in a lot of cases seem to have forgotten to educate their children about what a huge responsibility this gives them.
Countries in the Eastern mould seem to have given their people strict and rigid male dominated rules and regulations, without realising that they only succesfully apply as a social model in the tribal desert society for which they were designed.
Comment by Canicula — November 20, 2006 @ 10:18 am
Hey, BP. You were quoted by Michael Totten on this one.
http://www.michaeltotten.com/archives/001307.html
Comment by Zvi — November 20, 2006 @ 3:44 pm
just so everyone knows, consentual sex by people over the age of 18 is not prohibited by law in Egypt (aho da elly kan na2es) however, the idea of an unmarried couple not being able to spend time together at hotels is absurd and crazy, and still sex is not the point, the point is how our government treats us like children like BP said!! A SAUDI MUSLIM CAN DRINK IN RAMADAN AND AN EGYPTIAN CHRISTIAN CAN’T! ANY FOREIGNER CAN GAMBLE BUT ANY EGYPTIAN CAN’T! don’t tell me thats not absurd! GOD GAVE US FREE WILL, WHY WON’T OUR OWN GOVERNMENT GIVE IT TO US?
GREAT POST BP!
Comment by ISIS — November 21, 2006 @ 2:10 am
Once when I was in Instanbul and had already rented a room in a hotel, an American friend came to visit me and they would not let him upstairs to visit me. At first I thought they assumed he would be staying over without paying, and were objecting to that, but then I realized what the problem was.
OTOH, I had no problem in Sinai.
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